Skullduggery Pleasent Bones
by xxxMRS.LEXIEPLEASANTxxx
Summary: Valkerie, just you average busty teenage girl, stuggling with the ordinairy problems like homework amd boys, until she meets the meats Mr. Pleasent a skeleton detective.
1. Chapter 1

arthurs note: dis is my fist sry so plesrevow. Thx for the help mikey, luv u babe xxx

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one day i woak up the wait of my pregnant breast was presering down on me, "i hate my so big i esclaimed triumpently! i got up andwalked overto my mirrorr. and i notised my long silky black hair sweying in the breze, i had died the tips purpel becose was an emoo. it hid my eies which were borwn. my skin was pail becaus I was emo. it was streched tightly acros my enorous boobs witch were enormous with erogenous nipples. i took of my pjamas and stared at myslef and my reflection wos starred back "Hi!" it said. OMG! I esclaimed.  
my mom called VALKERY time for breakfast! I went downstars and ate some black tost. then it waos time for for the funneral. we hoped in the bently and drove to the funeral. when we arrive their was lots of piple crying. but theywas not as sad as me becase it was my dads funneral. My father godron wos murdererd and my mother was killed herslef becase this upset her!, this is why ibecame emo. I new most of the peple but there was this one man who i didnt his name was Skulldoggery Plesent.  
OMG your a skelton" i esclaimed that;s so emu. Who are you? he axed. "My nam is Valkerie Cain" "Are YOU an emo?" he then axed? Yeah how did you no?! Are you? "No I am a nectomancyier"  
Whats that? I said, I will show you he said and he shot a shadow from his hand. OMG can you teach me how to do it.""Yes, okay your so atractive"  
"Thanks I said" we drove away in the bently. It was a 54 type R type continntal that Skuldugry had did up so it was really fast" we drove away to his house .  
We pulled in front of his house and Ghastly was waiting for us there He was whereing some hot leather pants made by Bespok the tailer.  
"Skulbuggery!help! somebody has invaided my vault! Can you find out who done it?!' he esclaimed.  
So then we all went off becaus Skullduggery was a skeloton detective.


	2. Inside Gastlys Volt

Inside Gastlys Volt  
Skullduggery entered the passage; that lead to the vault. We went inthe vault. There were lots of things at the vault but one thing was gone.  
"Oh no its gone!" Ghast;y esclamed/  
NOT THE SEPTRE OF THE ANCIANTS! skulldiggery also esclaimed.  
"Whats septer of the ancients? I asked.  
"The Sceptre of the Ancients was a tool used by the Ancients to kill the Faceless Ones. It was a golden rod, about the length of a thigh bone and had a black crystal embedded into it's hilt. It sang to its owner when someone approached it but stayed quiet when an Ancient (or a person with Ancient blood) approached. The Sceptre was a focusing tool for the black crystal and shoots out black lightning that turned anything it came into contact with to dust. It was thought to be a myth, until Nefarian Serpine found it in the Caves."  
"okay" I said.  
So we went to see Chinna becos she was god with thwse things. China was beutyfull her heair was long and black even thought she wasnt and emo and her boobs were almost as big as mine. I fwelt jelosy becase she was fit but I new Skull was not into her becos she was not emo.  
We knockered on her door. "Come in" she said and we went in.  
"kullduggery" whats happind!" she esclaimed! "the septer has ben stalin!" skulldugery also esclaimed! "OMG! thats a bad thing!" she esclaimed.  
"why donot you ask a physic where it is?" china said. "wow thats a great idea thanks chinna" skullguery said. "whats a physic? I said.  
"Physics (from Greek φυσική (ἐπιστήμη), i.e. "knowledge of nature", from φύσις, physis, i.e. "natureis the natural science that involves the study of matter[6] and its motion through space and time, along with related concepts such as energy and forceMore broadly, it is the general analysis of nature, conducted in order to understand how the universe they can tell us where the septer is!"  
"oh" esclaimed valkerie.  
so they went to china to see finbar wong.!


	3. in china with skullduggery

AN: thanx4da help bab xxxxxx luv u xxxxx thnx4all da nice reviws2! sum of u wer men 2me and mad me cri bt IDM pls lev moar gd revews bc it mak me hapi. :D

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China was hot and thee wore lots of peple. "which one is finbar" i asked. "that 1 said skuldlugery pointing a bonny finger at a chav whereing a booberry hat, a umbo tracksute and nike shoes.  
"hi" said finbr Wong sadly "whats wrong? skulldugury asked. "Iam sad becose darquess is gong to kill every ! thats sooooooobad esclaimed Valkerie  
"Can we halp" asked skullduggary. "yes" said finbar wang "but youl have to pay us" said skoollduggery. "but I don not haveany mony" "thats ok said skulldugerdy you can pay with your body lol just kidding cos your a chav"  
Finbr ran away cring into the taj ma hall. i said LOL cos it was funny. We jumped in da bently And then we left to go to Darqusses house.  
when we got to darqesss hose we got out car. I nocked on the door but she wan't home. skulduggy looked in the in the window wich is pervy but its ok cos shes evol and stuff.  
we desidid to wate and smok a ciggeret and dranksome alcohall here while we wated for darquss to come home.  
OMG IM SO WET! i esclaimed when I spilt some alcohall down my tiop. "Dont worry ill by you a new 1 lol" said skullguggery "OMG REALLY YOUR THE BEST SKULL!" i esclaimed. So we went to Bespok the talers to get some new cloths.


	4. VALEKRIES WET BOBS

Capter 4  
AN: I jst rlized i dnt hav a covor for mi stori cn som1 mak me 1 plz!? Soz I havnt postidd in a wil i wiz tinkin of stry ides wth miky thnx bab!1111

my boobs were so wet by now frm the alcohl i spiled down myself then we arrived at bespoks and we got out thr benty bespok was weiting for us there for us "here are som new cloths" so i took off my cloths and put on his cloths.  
the cloths were super special and could stop magic and stuff amd they were black becos i was a necrymancer now.  
OOMG those cloths look so good on yiu said skuldugry esclaimed  
ONG YES said Ghasty crysing  
YOU LOOK SO PRETTY said tanith  
so we left to find the spter it was in some caves or something so we got the spter and we got off in the car to go and find  
as we was driving skull was staring at me "you looked so preety tring on the cloths" skulldugery esclaimed! "will you be my GFBF4eva?" skuldugary also esclaimed!  
OMG YES I ESCLAIMED. THEN WE MADE OUT FOR LIKE 3 HOURS. WHEN WE ARIved at Kens house it was really big  
"hi why are you hear? said ken peckle"  
we're hear to DESTOY youre GF becos she is going to KILL you

AN ;DUNDUN DA CLIFHANGER LOL aslo she wos not an emo so valerkerie doos nt lik her. thnx peeps 4redin dis anf 4al ur nice revoews pls donnat b men and revow plz!11 lov u


	5. SEXY TIME

AN: Soz I hazent posstid in awil a wos i was soobin ma ize out coz mikee brok up with ma. and we was havin lotz of sax b4 dat lol lol jk \i wos ill n im shavin ma bodi foor jeesus. I karnt remimba wot happind in d a last capta soz. :''( so i iz goona get 2 da actin bitz ;0 et u bebz.

WANING THIS CASPTER IS PREETY GRAPIC AND IS ONLY FOUR MATURE PPL PLZ DONT REPOT ME. P.S. VALKERIE IS 18 YOU PREVS AND

SKULLDOGGERY IS 32.

Vakly and Skullduggery went home cos they were tyres and dicided to have sex really lowdly all knight.

Oh skoody I esclamed cos my boody was on fire. I wished skoody had taugt me elematel pooers I thot as my body espolded in peasure.,

OMG LExie ur soooooooooo hot and mikee did not deserv u aneway cos ur soooooo hot.

ur the sexist person alive. skudy esclaimed. snd am the sixist persin dead lok just kiddin lol.

Wedid it again and gan and ainf skullfuggery was relly god at tit. his peniss b

on was so long it was ameasing and felt so giid so i had sex with him ahen and ahen. but I wos relly god tom becos skudy said so. He relly licked my books and said they were really ginomormous he esclaimed. I LOVE YOU VALKY HE ESCAMED AS he orgasmed violenty.

I LOVE YOU TO I esclaimed as my body espolded in peasure until my himen fell off onthe floor.

Then I get undressed and put on my pjamas and went to bed when I wok up he contined to have sex

I Relly licked it.


	6. SUDDENLEY Ghasty etard while we was on t

SUDDENLEY Ghasty etard while we was on the bed have any f you seen bespok i still need to find the sceptsr of the acnisnts esclaimed he.  
ono I fogot escaimed skullduggery. he was been idiosycatic.  
o well we went to darquess is hom but tshe werent there lol. I sed valkyrerei #  
Yum yum sed skoody but he was beng idiosycadic  
so we got up and went to see bepok the tayler cos thats wat we wer going to do. Ghasterly came too. But skoody was not commung in the car cos he wos goig to fly thar.  
we stoppd off at a servix station cos gasty needed the bathroom and i wantedd a sanditch  
we arived at bepoks hous with just minutes to spair,  
it was a big hous but the wernto much room becos he was relly messy and  
esclaimed bepsok do you have the speact of the ancincits.  
No escaimd skoulldugery.  
Then darquiss espaimed that she had the septer becas she had it and wanted everyone to no.  
soodently skuduggery shot a boolt at darquess and it hit hher in the tit. ow she sad. then i shot abalck and red fire flame at her because i was so emoo and she colapsed on the flor but then regeneteresad and got back up agan and then used the septer to kill bepsok and then bones hit her in the face cos he liked bespok and then ghasty turned into a stone then he hit her and then i hit her and then bespok shot a purple fire bolt at her cos he was girly and then i shot a gun at her and drank some alcool becas i was thisty and wanted to get ppoonmped up then skulldggery it her in the eyeball an she went down lik a sack of pototoes and then gave us the septar and we had seved the day. Hooray esclaimd me. and then we went home and i played with alice and turnwd her emo.

the end

AN: i mite rit a nother capta in da futur if i get sum gd revows but idc at da momint cos im too bisy and sumof u r beng men! i need a new bf tho so if ne of u r singl then messag me


End file.
